


Let Them Rest

by ShadowGale96



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angsty sadness, F/M, I'm always a slut for tragic shipping, M/M, Pain, and, idk if i spelled those right, minor beruani, minor eremika, this is mainly EruRi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-25
Updated: 2018-09-25
Packaged: 2019-07-17 13:18:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16096463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowGale96/pseuds/ShadowGale96
Summary: A reimagining of what happened in Shiganshina. Erwin holds the Titan serum in his hand as a choice waits to be made.





	Let Them Rest

The Beast Titan was retreating. The titans around Shiganshina were all killed, and the overwhelming majority of what remained of the Scouts, decimated. 

The air tasted of smoke and a sickening iron. Home lay in ruin. Splintered shards of wood and stone filled what was left of the crumbled streets. They had won. But victory wasn’t sweet. it left a bitter taste on their tongues and a choke hold over their hearts. And Erwin did feel like he was choking. He’d pushed those emotions back so long, but the soul can only take so much before cracks begin to appear. And right now, he was too emotionally and physically exhausted to stem the swell of sorrow squeezing his lungs.

He couldn’t breathe.

His bird lay at his feet with broken wings.

Levi was hit. Mortally so. Blood was seeping out of his body at an alarming rate as red stained the white of his uniform and bled through white feathers. Then there was Mikasa. Eren's friend, and undoubtabley a skilled fighter. But, she’s not Levi. Nor is she as skilled or experienced.

She laid burnt and bleeding on the tiled rooftop opposite of Levi. Her eyes closed as his were. They both dreamt a dreamless sleep, teetering, hopelessly clinging to life. One of them was fated to die.

With the serum held tightly between his figures, he knew the choice was clear.

Humanity needed Levi.

Armin tried to stop him. He tried, but even with only one arm, Erwin was practically indomitable by comparison. Hange held back Eren who fought in her grip. Tears gushed down his face. Leaving behind smeared trails of blood, dirt, and sweat. 

This was the right decision. Humanity needed Levi's strength. He-

His grip tightened on the box.

He... needed Levi.

Levi wasn’t just an impressive soldier. Levi was his right hand. Levi was stability and strength and a soft place to rest when the world became too much. Erwin had pursued Levi for his skill. His reputation alone hadn't done him enough credit. He moved through the air like he was born to fly, and his strength was beyond anything Erwin had ever seen before. 

But then, Erwin learned more. The longer Levi spent in the Scouts, the more his walls came down. Erwin learned that at his core, this crass man from the underground was kind. He stole military shipments and then gave the money to people in need. He protected those who had no one to count on and helped a broken bird learn to fly again.

The filth and darkness of this world had not corroded Levi’s heart. It beat with a resolute conviction in chest.

and it gave Erwin hope.

Hope that victory was possible. Hope that he could see out his dreams to fruition. 

There was a gruntal noise to side. Erwin glanced up at Eren. He still hadn’t stopped struggling. The boy’s face was twisted, contorted into an expression of raw suffering. 

“But... Mikasa...” The name came out broken between sobs and shakes. 

When Eren had first seen her, he looked at her broken form in utter disbelief. Erwin’s eyes widened. Had he not looked at Levi the same way? He’d allowed himself to be lulled into a false sense of security with Levi. When you watch someone come out on top time and time again, you forget they are still just flesh and blood like anyone else. You forget they can bleed.

It was clear the girl was truly an indomitable force on the battle field. Her skills even had the potential to rival that as Levi’s one day. 

But that was still uncertain. And her loyalty was reserved primarily for Eren, not the Legion. Levi was more of a sure bet. Erwin knew exactly were his loyalties lied. He would fight for humanity and the Survey Corps until his dying breath and the way things were looking now...

 He ordered Hange to get the kids back. They’re all crying, but they complied, leaving Erwin alone on the roof with half his heart bleeding out beneath him.

Erwin knelt down at Levi’s side. With one arm, he moved Levi’s arm into position on his lap and pulled out the syringe from the small black box in his hands. Despite his exhaustion, Erwin moved with precision. A determined resolve guided him from one action into the next. The needle barely poked into Levi’s pale skin before he made a grunted sound.

Levi’s brow furrowed. It was pained. His head thrashed to the side, and he managed to jerk his arm from Erwin. A groan escaped his lips that was dreadfully unlike the small noises Erwin was privileged to hear in their private moments.

It was a subconscious action. One brought on by delirium and confusion as Levi’s mind worked to ground him in reality. But, even so. It gave Erwin pause.

He looked down at the hurt look etching itself into the corners of Levi’s features. How many times had he seen something similar? How many times had Levi lost a friend? A comrade?

How many times had Levi put the weight of a dying soldiers dreams on his shoulders?

Countless.

Because that was just the type of person Levi was.

With every death the Survey Corps suffered, Levi resigned himself to make it meaningful. He pushed forward with the vow that he would keep the promises he made no matter the obstacle. He would endure, because he had too. Because someone had to. It was how he kept the dead alive. It was what kept him sane.

This selflessness is what transcended him from being Humanity’s Strongest Soldier to a Hero in most people’s eyes.

Erwin watched Levi’s face for a moment. The hope that he might awaken was fleeting. Thin black brows remained scrunched, and struggling gasps filled the air between them. The sound didn’t feel real. Levi had never been so physically broken to struggle like this before.

He was fighting wasn’t he? Even now. Even after everything they’ve lost. It wasn’t in Levi’s nature to just lie down and die. He always was fighting. No matter how much he was suffering, he still fought. He put that burden upon himself.

Erwin eyed the pink/purple liquid in the syringe.

This would turn Levi into a Titan. One of the things he devoted his life to eradicating. It would be rather ironic wouldn’t it? To become what you swore to destroy.

They were monsters, and they had taken so much from Levi hadn’t they? His family, his friends, his comrades. They consumed it all. The worst part of it all was they they had once been people. People turned into demons against their will.

Blue eyes found Levi’s resting face. Levi was not a monster. Despite everything, he was good. The best thing that ever came into Erwin’s life, actually. He was crude and maybe a bit vulgar in his manner of speech, but he was kind. He truly did care for the people in his life. He didn’t say it well, but it showed in the small things. He cleaned, setting a standered and disallowing any chance for people to accept squallier. He checked on everyone, making sure they kept on trained as to be better prepared in the field. Levi even kept a close eye on him as well. He made sure Erwin ate and had company even when he separated himself from the men after being promoted to Commander.

He was always looking out for others.

What would become of him now? How would those silver blue eyes look at him if he gave him the injection. Would they resent him? Would they hate him. Knowing Levi, he probably wouldn’t hold it against him. He had a way of supporting Erwin’s decisions even if he didn’t necessarily agree with them. It was something that Erwin cherished about him. A million voices cried out in doubt at Erwin’s decisions as a Commander. Levi didn’t add to the deafening noise. He’d stand next to him, silently saying with his eyes ‘I got you’.

Erwin couldn’t put into words how much he appreciated those simple things.

 _Was it selfish?_ He wondered.

Is he saving Levi because it’s the best call or because he’d be lonely if he didn’t?

His fingers thumbed over the metal ring on the syringe. Turning it slightly, he caught a glimpse of himself in the metal. Erwin wasn’t pursuing his own desires under the guise of something more noble. Like ‘Humanity’.

That’s what he’d always said for years right? ‘Offer your heart for humanity’.

But things changed.

Levi taught him to let go of that and become the man Levi had always seen in him.

Erwin looked into the face of his friend, his lover, his captain, his right hand, his beating heart, and Erwin pushed away his own desires as he asked a very important question: What’s best for Levi?

* * *

A crazed titan that was made of claws, muscle, and midnight hair exploded into existence right next to the regenerating body of the Colossal Titan. It saw him almost immediately. Everything started exactly as expected. That is until the tall boy woke up as a growing shadow loomed over him.

Erwin knew he was going to die anyway. His crimes against the people of Paradise were irredeemable. Most people would say this death we too much of a mercy. Regardless, this knowledge doesn’t make it any easier to listen, as he had listened for years, as a titan devoured a living person.

He screamed for mercy, as most do. Then for his friends. They didn’t help him. They stood by in shocked silence as they allowed the inevitable to happen. Then he cried for Annie. Their other captive.

Erwin could tell be the way Berthold had yelled it, he died full of regrets.

It was all over in the span of a few minutes. The wild looking titan collapsed, and immediately started steaming. Those still alive flew over to the fallen creature.

There was a _tink_ of tiles and a _woosh_ of gas as someone landed at his side. Her steps faltered. He didn’t have to look at Hange’s face to know that she was looking at him with a confused saddened eye.

“Erwin… Why…?” She breathed.

He didn't answer.

On the other rooftop, those from the 104th cried happy tears. Eren and Armin pulled a reborn Mikasa out of the steaming remains of the fallen titan. Erwin turned away. He couldn’t look at it, and there was someone more important that still demanded his attention.

Levi’s entire life had been a struggle. Every path led him to more suffering. But he kept persevering, kept being strong for others. It was a terrible burden to bear. And it was beginning to take its toll.

He deserves a rest.

Erwin gently brushes back matted ebony bangs. Levi would hate how dirty they are. The grime and blood hardened in areas making it filthier than Levi would ever allow. A pang of pain gripped Erwin's chest at the realization that Levi wouldn't be cleaning it again.

"I won't be long." Erwin promises.

He’s vaguely aware that Hange has taken a seat next to him. Her expression empty and tired after so much carnage. Erwin’s remaining hand slides under Levi’s matted hair to cradle his damaged head as Erwin pulls him up into a comforting embrace. He uses what’s left of his right arm to steady them and keep Levi from rolling.

He thinks there are people watching him, but he doesn’t care.

He holds Levi until his ragged gasps slow to a choke. Then his chest doesn’t rise again. Levi becomes still. His face relaxed as his muscles untensed. It happened so suddenly, it doesn't feel real. He was here, and then he wasn’t. But even though the world ended, it kept on turning.

Rain drips down onto Levi’s face, except it isn’t rain. Erwin’s vision is blurring, and his eyes are burning as if someone had struck him with soldering iron. He doesn’t know when he started crying. He hasn’t cried in- God, he doesn’t even know how long. But now the tears won’t stop.

Levi had freed him. In their last conversation together, Levi had given back his humanity. He tore down the walls Erwin had worked so hard to build. But, now he’s drowning. He can’t breathe, the weight of it all feels like it’s crushing him. 

Levi needs to breathe again. _Please. Please, not you. Anything but you too._

Hange’s leaning against him now. Her face pushed into his shoulder as he cries. He wishes he was dead.

**Author's Note:**

> I hit a low with my depression yesterday, and this is what happened as a result. After that chapter, I kinda wondered what would happen if the rolls were reversed. What would Erwin choose if he were in Levi's place? I also didn't want it to be a compassion between Armin and Levi. I wanted it to be more of a mirror of the same choice between two similar characters with similar attributes, thus Mikasa and Levi instead of Armin and Levi.
> 
> My idea at the end is that Erwin makes the choice that he thinks is best for Levi, much like what Levi did for Erwin. Unfortunately, Levi 'freed' Erwin before he died so now Erwin is overwhelmed because his actions and by the sense of loss, it becomes unbearable for him. Erwin's ability to command will probably be highly at risk now. At least that's my interpretation of a 'what if' scenario.
> 
> Anyway hope you enjoyed reading. What's you think? Did it make you sad? I'm also interested to hear what choice you think Erwin would have made in Levi's situation. It's an interesting thing to ponder.
> 
> Comments and Kudos are all loved.


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